How to Talk With Children and Youth About ICE Activity in Charlotte

By Rev. Lindsey Odom, Associate Pastor of Youth and Missions/Outreach and Rebecca Guzman, Director of Spiritual Formation

Note: This article was first published on Monday, November 17, as an email to families with youth and children

Dear SMPC Families,

As many of you know, recent U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) activity in Charlotte has caused fear, disruption, and deep concern throughout our community. Masked agents have detained people in neighborhoods, along roads, in parking lots, and outside local businesses. Some individuals detained across similar operations in other cities have been legal residents or even U.S. citizens, adding to the uncertainty and trauma many of our neighbors are experiencing.

These events are not just political headlines. They are stories about families, children, youth, and the dignity of human beings made in God’s image. Some families in our own congregation and some of the mission partners we support are personally affected. We know that we have kids in Spanish language immersion schools, among other schools, who are seeing very high rates of absenteeism. Your children might have friends who didn’t come to school today, and they may be worried about them.

We know many of you may be wondering how to talk with your children and youth about what they’re hearing and seeing.

Here are some very general tips for conversation:

Notice stress reactions in kids:

• Older kids might tell you, but they might not. You may notice changes in behavior or mood.
• Younger kids might know something is happening but not really understand.

Encourage questions:

• They’ve probably heard at least a little bit at school. Answer their questions honestly, but don’t give a ton of information at once. They don’t need to know the same details that adults know.
• You can start by asking what they’ve heard. “Hey, Charlotte has been all over the news the past few days–what have you heard at school?”

Follow their lead:

• Children and teens are remarkably good at knowing what they can handle. There is no need to create fear where it doesn’t already exist. Go slowly.

Remember we are a people of hope:

• Christians believe that love wins. That doesn’t mean that we cannot be realistic about what is happening; rather, we believe that our job is to see what is as well as what could be, and then to work to bring that hope into reality.

Look at scripture: Jesus teaches us to care for our immigrant and refugee neighbors. Talk about what the word “stranger” might mean in the Bible and wonder whether our immigrant neighbors are really strangers. Here are some examples from scripture:

• “I was a stranger and you welcomed me…” (Matthew 25)
• “You shall love the stranger, for you were strangers…” (Deuteronomy 10)
• “You shall love God and your neighbor as yourselves” (Matthew 22:37-40)

Model appropriate media consumption:

• Don’t watch the news 24/7 or scroll social media constantly.
• Talk to your kids about how to identify trusted sources.

Talk about all the ways that people are helping, too! Like Mr. Rogers said, “Look for the helpers.”

Help them BE helpers in age-appropriate ways (again following their lead):

• Check in with friends that they suspect may be experiencing fear or anxiety.
• Attend peaceful community events.
• Watch for specific action items this week from SMPC. We’re still working with our community partners to make sure we’re doing the most helpful things.
• Donate money to local partners working with immigrant families like Carolina Migrant Network and Our Bridge for Kids

Pray together, using the prayer that we’ve written above or your own.

Remember that we’re with you! We love your kids and would be happy to talk with YOU about how you’re feeling and processing.

Blessings,

Lindsey and Rebecca